Clarinet 97
by Chorenn
Summary: But what happens a year after Sekigahara? Au warning I am not a dorito for your pleasure


Masamune walked down the hallway aggressively. His swagger was unmatched. Hearing sobbing in the room he walked past, he knew it was just Yoshitsugu and Takatora hugging each other half naked while watching Bee Movie. He had walked in on them too many times to know that. Usually they'd get Mitsunari in there and the trio would start making out.

Gross.

"Masamune." Kojuurou said, sniffing Masamunes's shoulder. That was his mating call. Kagekatsu was ashamed of him. Dang :/. "No Kojuurou I'm still not 12. I'm never going to be 12." Masamune answered dreadfully. "Rutherfordium!" Naotora exclaimed. The duo turned in time to see her transform into a shoe. Masamune got a bad feeling. He bolted towards the horizon, knowing he had to save Ranmaru from Honoji. "He'll be back." Kojuuroiu replied, licking Ranmaru's knee.

Masamune stopped halfway, realizing that Ranmaru was the last Oda clan member alive and Honoji had already happened. Sekigahara was done too. The land was at piece and this an AU. Ranmaru was working for him because he admired Masamune's ambition and it almost rivaled Nobunaga's. He ran all the way back, only to see Ranmaru throwing ants at everyone. Ranmaru wanted to go. "Hairy Ball Theorem." Masamune said, giving Ranmaru a surprise hug. Ranmaru needed to calm down. Suddenly, the priest screeched?

Kanetsugu screamed sadly at a rock. He didn't understand why a rock would think of him as such! This rock just confessed that it loved him and wanted to make babies with him, but this is a T rated fanfiction, so no Kanetsugu banging a rock action, sadly. Picking the rock up, he moved his hand over the smooth surface of the rock. He then tossed the rock into a nearby lake. As much as he preached about it, Kanetsugu didn't need love in his life. Friendship was just fine.

Walking over to the trio, Kanetsugu said, "Where's Kanbei? Where's Hanbei? Where's Motonari? We cannot party if they're not here." Kanetsugu growled in union with a hat. Suddenly, a cotton swab, 2 pencils, and a lumpy bottle. They turned into as follows; Kanbei, Motonari, Hanbei and Takakage. "KHAMNBIE YPOU AR E COOL!" Takakage screamed, floating into the sky. Bye Takakage; we loved you.

Everyone feel silent. Mitsunari ran across the lawn, chasing Takatora with a hair dryer. Yoshitsugu was being cradled by Sakon as Sakon gently rocked Yoshitsugu back in forth in his arms while reading him "The Great Gatsby" like Sakon was his parent and Yoshitsugu was a child. "Please leave me alone." Yoshitsugu grunted. "NO! I NEED EGG HDTV!" Sakon hissed. Takatora burst into the room. After kicking Sakon out, literally, Takatora and Yoshitsugu went to bed and read the entire periodic table to each other.

Mitsunari shouted, "hey guys can we put some ina gracia and hisahide in here lol" A wild Ina appeared! Go, Yoshitsugu! Gosh it a ugh. Ina and hisahide Walked in. "Nipples " Ina concluded happily. Everyone clapped happily. The moon shone frustratedly on the party. This was Mitsunari's fucking idea wasn't it? Well it was, how did you know. Naotora was here, that's nice. She was hosting the party because Mitsunari was licking men. Naotora wanted to lick women but she had a party to host. "Hey um... Equilibrium fifty three caculus?" Naotora asked shyly to Gracia. "Coconut Head." Gracia answered. Thanks Gracia; Naotora was going to make out with Ina.

Nobuyuki doesn't exist in this universe ok. So here's a make out scene:

Naotora walked over to Ina. "Uh... H-hi Ina." Naotora said. Ina looked at her. Ina kissed Naotora on her lips. "I-Ina I..." They started to make out. Once they finished they banged each other. Or at least that's what happens in Yaoi fics; why not in a yuri fic. Ok back to the plot of this story

Motochika looked up Koshosho's nosehairs. _Bone Marrow_. He thought, putting away his iPhone. Avoiding the rain of Mario's he yelped at the spaghetti sauce. Koshosho picked up the pasta. "Nerve Tissue." She cooed to the book. The book ran away. Clearing his throat, Motochika added, "18 "ass" only." sneakily. Motochika's iPhone ran away. He could've cared less; Koshosho was now elected president! He was her vice and if he failed to impress, he might get a glow in the dark Paper cut!

Linkin Park approves!

Toyohisa wakes! He smells a Tachibana, fresh! He must find the Tachibana. "Dad?" He asked? "Son?" Yoshihiro meowed. "Can we go hunting for Tach-"" **NO TIME IS LEFT! **THE TACHIBANANAS ARE HERE! WE NEED TO ESCAPE! Haha no nip toyohisa. Yoshihiro started chanting angrily at the dresser! Was the dresser Yummy Nikes? NO! Too much was going on. The gettysburger. THe Shimazu clan was a fALL and the Tachibana Risen. He LICKS?... The Toyotomi will RISE! Or at least according to the survey Ina had in her hand. But Sekigahara had passed and Mitsunari was win.

Yoshitsugu put on his detective hat. It was time for him to find something. He yodeled for his partner in crime, Takatora. He was missing, so Munenori was here to do the thing with the thing in the thing, it all works out trust. Munenori gazed at the shoe. It looked like the second orange peel. His toe whimpered. Taking off his shoe, he caressed his upset toe. Yoshitsugu ran. Nobody would investigate the heist with him! He bumped into...

...

M-mitsuhide? "B-blueberry?!" Yoshitsugu asked. "Hush Yoshr." Mitsuhide whispered into his ear. The words went straight to his simile. Mitsuhide claimed Yoshitsugu's lips. No; Mitsuhide literally bought Yoshitsugu's lips. He didn't take them; he just said "My lips now." One hundred percent Yoshitsugu except lips. Lips. It's hi billy mays here for another fantastic product it's called "MITSUNARI!"

chewing on the candy, Mitsunari snuggled against his boyfriends chest. He fell asleepy.


End file.
